BBB - Bush, Boys, Beast (Day 46)

Do you ever just feel wrong? As if there was something you were supposed to be doing, or a way you were supposed to act different? I felt like that walking in my backyard bush today. It's something you can't place, but it makes you feel bad, because you are not where you should be. But then, the feeling doesn't answer where you should be either. It is confusing.

Update on the boy situation. I hung out with the guy I talked about several days ago recently and have decided some things. First, in my head, rationally, I don't like him. He doesn't want children. I want four or more. He likes playing musical instruments. I do not. He is embarrassed of being a nerd and makes it sounds like he doesn't like nerds or nerd things. Meanwhile he knows about all the current nerd things. I am very aware of my nerdhood and wear it almost proudly, yet I am clearly lacking in some nerd aspects. Despite how my head feels, in my heart, I still treat him like I like him. I get all blushy and can't look at his face. However, I think this is latent attraction from when I did like him. It's not current like of him. Now all there is to do is get used to treating him like all the other guys I'm not attracted to. I'm not saying that I am closing all the possibilities, but for now, that is where it's at.

Today's music video is B2ST/Beast's Shock. Beast is with Cube Entertainment, a company many would consider the fourth largest in the recording/entertainment industry. Shock is a pretty average music video.In it I like the way the cords are "attacking" Yeseob. It's both cool and creepy at the same time. I also appreciate that due to the low lighting, the outfits look almost understated, despite the fact that a lot of them are bejeweled.